Saturday, June 9, 2007

A Game

Deep into the night, I sit by the window and reflect. It's dark out there and there is a fine mist coating the glass. As I look towards the sky, I see no stars, only dark clouds hiding the moon. So I ponder, things in the past, things in the present and things in the future... So I ponder life and its dilemmas.

After much thought, I came up with the following conclusion in the events gone by and events that may come:

Everything is just a game. You can play the game, let the game play you or you can end the fucking game.

Sometimes you can't end the game nor do you want to, doing so is perhaps sad and wasteful... But if you can't play the game anymore, you'll have to end it and play another one... perhaps, and just perhaps, the new one will be a better one.

A saying comes to mind: "If the old won't go, the new won't come". This is exactly my view.

But what if you feel current game is the best one for you and ending the game is simply a big shame? - you just feel the game has so much potential. Alas... but sometimes, the game is just unplayable, things just impede successful game play, often the key factors.

Take whatever I say in whatever context it may be. I just hope you understand what I say. If the game is unplayable, don't continue as it'll be bring more pain and trouble for you. Don't believe me, just do it, I'll love to see how far you can go and maybe, just maybe you'll prove me wrong. But if you don't want to test my theory, then end it for a new game will arise. But what if it don't? Yep, complex isn't it.

Hahaha... Sudden rush of de ja vu... Damn, this is scary. Ok, ponder my view and best wishes to whatever game you play. You play it and win, you let it play you and suffer or you end it and find something better to play - Whatever happens, do it honestly, ethically and persistently and you won't regret it because regret... it will hurt you deeply and in hindsight, you will sadden at what a beautiful and wonderful game it could have become. You'll wonder why - But there won't be an answer for you.

Sometimes, I pity myself for being able to rationalise about everything... If only those rationalised "theories" can be more applicable to me... Perhaps as one matures, one will look at things in life as something more of a "game" but for a lack of knowledge, experience and wisedom, it will have to suffice. One look forward to a journey of self discovery.

Game over.


baBydoLL t3mp2ess said...

Does that mean you won't play with me any more?
Life is one big game, i realised that a long time ago.
"All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players" (shakespeare)
But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Could be fun.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

Shan said...

The game will end. But another will rise over the course of time - I believe in that. Just that one truly regret ending it because one is fearful that the game you will play will bring not bring joys near the game that could have been played. I hope you understand. It's ones inability to care for you because one feel you deserve and can get much more... that's most saddening. Every other loss is secondary. But life... life has it's own twists of fate and play the game we must whether it's a lie, the truth or something beyond ones imagination.

Anonymous said...

You know I believe you had decided to end the game long before you gave it voice.
Follow your heart

Julius said...

Strange Thing it is to see life as a game.
Why ? A game is also formed by rational rules ( mathematical or not they are still rules) and despite the fact that life also had it rules you will never be able to speak about win and loss.Wich its a core aspect, IMO i find that you see things way to black and white.
Life is gray, never black- or withe.

BTW: ping your technorati, it really needs to be updated.

Shan said...

Indeed you are correct... I do see everything black and white and perhaps I do need to see it as something different. I fear failure and rationality provides a framework for avoiding failure I guess..

A game - And no, I don't want the game to end. But the only viable course of action is to end it and hence the decision - The heart says one thing but the mind says something else and I guess despite how much I want the heart to win, the mind will prevail.

Time is the best healer they say.

P.S. Thanks, I pinged Technorati but it seems they are really slow in updating.

princess said...

I wanna tell u something that you may or may not already know.
There was this guy that I knew that I was pretty good friends with and over time I felt myself feeling more than just friendship to him. I didn't need to tell him how I felt because I knew he already knew. But things between us always stayed the same, and after more than one year I decided I couldn't handle it anymore, and like you I wanted to end 'the game'. But no matter how I tried I couldn't bury my partiality, and his indifference continued to madden me. But there was nothing I could do and to this day nothing that I will do.
Okay I don't know what the exact point of my story was but I hope it helps you in some way. I know you will analyze it til it has no meaning left.

Julius said...

That the mind wins is not such a big thing i guess. And yes living by the brain isn't such a bad thing IMO ( you are either by the heart or by brain but you can't be both).

"I fear failure and rationality provides a framework for avoiding failure I guess."
I think that is logic to fear failure (i do to) but fearing it isn't a reason why you don't need to face the challenge. You always have the risc to fail but in spite that you should take your responsibility. Live your life today, don't wait for tomorrow. :)

Amel's Realm said...

I like these words:

Live as though there were no tomorrow,
Love as though you were never hurt before,
Dance as though nobody saw you,
Etc. Etc. Etc.

I don't like viewing life as a game. Life is a gift for me and a miracle. :-)))

Failure only becomes failure if you don't learn anything from it. At least that's what I believe in. :-)))

Shan said...

Indeed. Failure will only become failures when you don't learn from it. And thus learn I will. Thank you for your wise words Amel.

Amel's Realm said...

UR welcome, Shan. It seems you've been a bit bummed out lately. Hope your mind and soul are refreshed this weekend. :-)))

Btw, Julius, Shan's right about Technorati. I've been trying to ping it but they kept on telling me they didn't find my blog and there was this sign "last update: 5 days ago". Weird stuff!!!

Julius said...

Damn technorati