Friday, July 20, 2007

A Sad Sad Day

Today, I did a very sad but necessary thing. Remember how I said I was going to defuse a bomb very soon? Well, it was more of a try at defusing the bomb to see whether it was imaginary or real.

Putting what I am saying into context, the bomb is a person (female). Well, a bomb isn't a nice word, I was quite tired last night and that was the best metaphor I could think of... Let's say it was a rose with thorns... I am a person trying to handle that rose and reduce it's barbs to an extent where I can admire it for a lifetime. I hope I made the context clear with this analogy...

So today, I decided to truly see whether I had a chance at reducing the barbs. I had a rough idea of what to expect (The barbs is not reducible, at least not for me or by me...)

The result? As I expected (I guess...): Taking good old Julius Caesar's famous words "I came, I saw, I conquered" and changing it to suit my situation: "I came, I saw, I suffered".

As I walked away, I looked at the skies and felt a very deep sadness. A kind of sadness indescribable by words. Yet in another part of me, I confirmed what I have long felt and is kind of glad things are the way they became because no one lied to each other and did not prolong the situation which could have made it even more saddening... Thinking of things rationally, there really wasn't much of a future... Like the rose said once, we are two worlds apart. Haha, funny how fate is isn't it :)

As I walked, I saw a number of beauties yet rather than admiring them like usual (:P), I felt funny... I felt that they were so ordinary, so ... stupid and boring compared to the rose with thorns I knew. I am guessing this is how you feel at the end of a situation like this.

To Rose: So I say goodbye to you, a special place in my heart you'll always remain... There was never of a future and it is better this way. Best of wish to you and I am sure you'll find the one you need to grant you eternal happiness.

Goodbye and good luck!

11 comments:

Amel's Realm said...

Awwww...this is sad. I'm sorry to hear that, Shan. Well, your heart needs to heal first before you can see others as "more attractive" than the rose with thorns. Just take it easy...and let your heart heal...

Deadpoolite said...

I'll just be a bit of pragmatist with this one... It is not like you are a life veteran or something, you are a young gal full of life for crying out loud. So, chin up and stop mourning like someone died. An old end is a new beginning (just came up with that...wow... what an epiphany of wackiness on my behalf,lol).

These things are never easy but it won't really matter after a bit of time. Life is full of opportunities you know, I mean why mourn your losses when you have a whole sea of opportunity and potential right in front of your eyes?

Today's "lame" people, tomorrow's "best friends/lovers
(What is wrong with me today... what is with all this philosophical malarchy... shit I am talking like Opra all of a sudden... I must be possessed...oh man I am so not in the mood for this... better call my exorcist...again..lol)

Cheer up!

Zhu said...

Awww... Breaking up is never easy...

Although I have to agree with Deadpoolite - but I'll put it differently. I think you oeveranalyse things sometimes... men, women, behavior, relationships etc. not everything is logic or explainable ! ;)

Monday Morning Power said...

A rather tender good bye. Finding the right woman is critical.

I found your site through Max's; we share links. I don't think I have any shared links in Australia. Take a look at my site and let me know if you would be into a link swap. http://mondaymorningpower.blogspot.com

If you agree, link my site to yours and leave me a comment that you have done so and I will immediately do the same.

Deadpoolite said...

@Monday morning power

Probably you wont read this but it doesnt really matter...

I just ask you how insensitive can one be, just check your latest comment and you got your answer right there.

The girl is heartbroken and you spread lenghty BS about links, nice timing man, real smooth...

Anyway, I am off (yeah, yeah, I know Shan rules and all and she doesnt need any backing up from lazy greek Mercs or from anyone for that matter but I had to make a point you know, lol)

Shan said...

Amel: Indeed, I figured as much. Still, it's a shame but fate has it's twists for everyone doesn't it...

DP: Lmao! How true, I do sound quite pathetic don't I :P Hey, I can't help it, I'm only so young... But lol, your words are like Amel, I guess time will allow me to see other potential... And yeah, your philosophical comments are scaring me too!

Zhu: It wasn't even a breakup. It was a test to see whether I had a chance to have a chance at breakup lol... if that made any chance... It's most unfortunate I was not worthy :P But yes, I do analyse a bit too much don't I, sometimes often wrongly hahaha! Ahh well, life's probably more interesting these ways...

Monday Morning Power: I like your site :D I have added you to my link exchange list.

DP: Lol, calling me a girl heyy... you just wait, one day, I'll get you back lol

Amel's Realm said...

Hey, UR NOT pathetic. It's just love he he he...or the "unfortunate" ending of love. I think it's not such a shame as long as you learn something about yourself and other people when a relationship ends. Don't you learn more about yourself this way?????

Shan said...

Amel: Haha, thanks for the words of reassurance. I guess I am not pathetic, it's just what I have become that I despise the most. But you are absolutely correct, from this entire episode, I have learnt a lot of things that will be useful for me in the future. I am sure I will not allow something like this to happen again. If it does, it's going to be on my own terms... Or so I hope ahahaha. But learn I will and eventually, time will allow me to see the beauty of others.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

that is sad but sweet and gracious.

Deadpoolite said...

@shan

Oh, man I need to return that engagement ring now that you are a guy and all... Damn I hope the jewlery store has a refund section or something:)

Hope you feel better now! (Oh come on you are a sucker for speedy emotional recovery and you know it,lol)

Shan said...

Stepping over the junk: Haha, I'm glad you think so

DP: lol! Man, I havn't recovered yet. This thing is taking alot outta me, trust me lol...