Thursday, August 30, 2007

Recap of the Month

Hey everyone!

It's almost the end of August and as I sit here, I am wondering what I should write. Then I suddenly realised it has been just 6 months since the start of my blog on April 29th, 2007!

You know, it has been an absolutely fantastic 6 months and during this period, most of you have been with me through my ups and downs. During this period, I have found my blog as a wonderful outlet for excessive energy and creative emotions. More so, I have gained many wonderful friends in the world of blogging.

It's been fun so far everyone and I intend to make it better! But all will come in good time haha!

So, let me recap some of my favorite articles in the past six months before August goes into the Archives of History! Lets start with the month of April!

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April:

A New Beginning --> My very first post!

For you said, "love in love" kids out there --> A quite amusing derogatory article. One of my favorites until in time I realised that it takes one to know one hahaha!

May:

Love Is War --> An cursory examination of the concept Love. A little summary I did early in the morning...

Cool or Loser --> Again, my creative juices flowing overtime. I decided to hypothesize and come up with a real definition for the words "cool" and "loser". Everyone must have thought of this sometime in their life right?

Love, Fidelity and the Whole Crazy Thing --> Must I explain? Read it, you'll enjoy it!

Self Discipline --> Something I totally lack of. Maybe the articles I found will help you!

Miss Universe - A Critique --> Hot Asian Babes Critic in Play! My review of the 2006 Miss Universe selection. Be warned ladies, languages may offend!

June (One of the most emotional turbulent eras of my life so far...)

Factors Needed For A Successful Relationship - Part 1 --> Well, I don't need to explain any further. This was something I did out of sheer boredom. Personally, I felt it was one of the best analysis I ever did without any major research hahaha! Of course, the readers thought otherwise... Have a read, you'll laugh for sure!

How Much Heart Should You Put In --> Mammoth article examining how much one should put into a relationship. Something I did when I should have been studying. I think I was a bit tired that day when I wrote it hahaha!

Reality - Harsh Or In Fact Enlightening? --> A turning point in my confused times. I realise once when you look at the reality, many things are easily resolved. It is indeed an enlightment. An epiphany if you like.

Middle Eastern Wars - A Thought and A Prayer --> My thoughts on the invasion of Gaza by the terrorist group Hamas.

July

Trust --> A betrayal that stung me quite painfully. Something I will never forget. That day is a day that will come to influence my thoughts for a long time. A disillusionment with the human race (females in particular)...

8 Things About Me --> Want to learn more about this shallow, insecure, sex obsessed weirdo? Read on!

A Short Poem --> If you can understand the meaning of the poem, then I don't need to explain. It's all there in 4 simple sentences...

August

Disillusionment --> One of the recent topics that touched on my nerves a bit. Something we all have no doubtly experienced at sometime of our life.

Nostalgic Moment --> A perhaps test for my inner resolve and a test of my existing feelings. I am glad the turbulent times have passed. I don't think I ever want to experience another one like it.

Not Myself --> Most recent article explaining my most recent frustration :P

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Ok, that was a massive recap!! I think I will try to do monthly recaps from now on rather than every 6 months hahaha!

But you know, going through the archives brought back a lot of interesting memories. My blog has became something like a diary hasn't it? I think it's a good thing provided I learn from it. After all, knowledge is what makes us who we are!

Hope you all will have found something interesting you haven't seen before!

Best wishes!

Shan.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Not Myself...

Today has been interesting...

Firstly I had work. Secondly I had dinner at a Korean restaurant with a beautiful lady in green.

Yet throughout the entire evening, I did not feel like myself. I have no words to describe my feelings... It's a mixture of regret, discomfort and emptiness I think...

I have no idea why: The company was fabulous, the night was cool and comforting and so was the food. Yet I am unable to show my true self, the perhaps happy and exciting side. The witty side.

A friend once told me that it's because I am nervous, afraid of doing something wrong and in a way, it is true though consciously I did not feel this way.

Things I have said and done tonight was ... well rude in hindsight. I realise I do these things to protect my fragile innerself, to protect my own insecurity. The friend wants a cheerful company and I was unable to provide 100%, maybe just 70%... I feel regrettable about this and in many ways sorry.

I just came to a sudden realisation that it's a defence mechanism exhibited by my mind. To hurt and to attack before I get hurt or attacked. I can't believe I didn't realise this earlier, it's been so obvious...

Ahhh it seems I have difficulty in stopping this... it's quite difficult... The only good solution I can think of is think well before I talk and be more withheld. Yet somehow, I think I'll still end up feeling empty...

For now, I'll do my best in being more careful with my words. That is, if I have nothing good to say, don't say anything.

You know, it's funny that in hindsight, I was never like this before with this lady. It's been only in the recent times I have turned this way. My mind, it's damned interesting...

Lady in green, if you are reading this, I promise you I'll do my utmost to be myself and as a better company next time!

Thanks for listening me rant everyone, please feel free to offer advices, comments or the occasional abuse lol. They say we grow through suffering, how damned true it is hahaha!

See you all soon!

Shan.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

What Do You Get For A Girl's Birthday?

Ahh just a quick post before I head off to bed.

Simple question, what do you get for a girl's birthday? Someone asked me recently and I had absolutely no idea. I hastily made up some answer along the lines of "oh that's easy, get her flowers and get a her "saying it with flowers book". I figured that was a smart move since it made me sound like I knew what I was talking about and was an appropriate answer... lol...

Maybe not in hindsight...

But it is a good question isn't it and it would depend on the length you know the girl right? As a friend, what can you get? Jewelry is somewhat unsuitable and expensive. What about shoes or clothes? Purse? Perfume?

Alcohol? Uhhhh, maybe not...

But what can you get that will guarantee it being actually utilised for the purpose it was designed and bought for rather than being tossed somewhere in the maze of a girl's bedroom?

How about some sex toy? I recently visited this sex shop called "Libido" in Perth with some people and saw this 10" dildo for uhh, didn't see the price... Ummm ok, this was inappropriate but apologies, just trying to cover all my bases lol... Please ignore my weird remark... It's DP's fault, his wacky remarks is infectious... blame him!

Yeeaaahh, so get back to me on this one people lol, what do you get for a girls birthday and what factors should you consider?

Looking forward to some wise replies as usual!

Shan!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A Nostalgic Moment

As I finished work today, I climbed down the stairs and began a short trip towards the train station. As I walked, a tiny drizzle of rain began coming down from the cloudy sky, slowly but steadily.

I was engrossed much in my thoughts until I realised I had walked by a very familiar shop, a shop that I had worked for the past 2 years. As I glanced inside, I noticed many familiar faces with a most notable one in a blue shirt.

My heart began to pound as I pondered whether I should go in and say hi. Many things suddenly rushed through my mind and I had a small sense of nostalgia. Then I realised something important and I began to walk away, in a way like the rain, slowly but surely.

In this life, there are some things that are can't be explained by science. Sometimes the only explaination we have is reality or maybe the reality we want...

Sometimes, some of us are just luckier than the rest and they don't even know it...

On a lighter note, I recently subscribed to the newsmagazine, TIME for one year. I have absolutely no idea why but like the thing with the jade, I suddenly developed a fascination and just felt somewhat compelled to buy it. I figured one whole year of in-depth knowledge about world events is world a mere A$139. It makes a good combination to my mobile news which is good and frequent but simple.

What do you think? Worth it?

Hope you enjoyed this post and it made you think a bit...

Best wishes and sweet living everyone... Shan.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Surprise!

Ahhh, neglected haha.

Firstly, a big thank you to everyone who has been checking my blog. I know it's been a while but things have been a bit too much in the past 2 weeks. I have been visiting everyone's blogs from various locations and they have been interesting!

So, a bit of update of my life. University is settling down and so is the jobs. And yeah, that is pretty much it hahaha.

But let's move onto something I recently began to think of and that's the Y generation and their ability to plan. Well, ability to plan is not exactly what I was thinking but let me explain a bit further.

I was recently have a chat with a friend at university just before a lecture about his business and the plans for his future. He is 26, has a fast food business in China and his wife is having their first child on the weekend (Good luck!). As I was talking to him, we eventually moved onto what I planned for my future. When I outlined a very rough one to him, he surprised me by saying how nice it is to see someone so young to have a such plan.

My first initial reaction was "no, he is flattering me way too much - what a good ego stroker". But he outlined why he thought so and I then began to think of my conversations with a number of young people - which somewhat confirmed what he said:

Young people today has no plans for their future. They are not ambitious enough, content with a secure job and fairly good pay and then ultimately partying.

Of course, I am not saying partying is a bad thing since "enjoy life" is my motto but when you are between the age of 18 to 25, this is where everything begins. If you do not start to plan and work hard to allow those plans to become reality, in time, you'll realise how your youth has been wasted on activities that proved to be absolutely non-essential to your future. In other words, you will regret it. Or maybe it's just me, I am not content with what I have and I kind of get bored with things after a while. I need new and exciting things... My attention span is too low...

You know, sometimes, as I walk through the city of Perth at the nights (or even during the days), I see these bums and I feel this surge of sympathy and fear. Sympathy because I feel sorry for them and fear because I don't want to become them.

Of course, I could just lay back, find a decent job, take out a mortgage, get married and then support the wife and the house for the next 20 years. But somehow, I just don't think I can do that. My personality doesn't quite lend itself to such ideals. While all of us want to do that in some ways, when I see successful people with good clothes and cars and jewelery, I kind of feel inadequate and in another way regret. Regret because if I don't take advantage of opportunities arising for me or don't create opportunities for myself, then I will never be able to do that.

Moreover, for those of you who remember some of my first blogs, I intend to treat my future wife like a queen but to do that, I need the dough hahaha!

Ok, I feel I have nagged enough and reassured myself enough lol... So moving onto a lighter note, let's talk about jade.

Recently, I have developed a sudden fascination with jade, or rather, high quality jade. I have heard from people top quality jade are able to transform when worn with a person for a while. It's lines adapt to the body when worn over time. If anyone knows how or where to buy one, feel free to leave a comment :)

I will endeavour to make more posts each week!

Best wishes and enjoy life everyone!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

A New Thought

These days it seems I am undergoing some interesting growth...

I believe I am, as a person, becoming more cynical, becoming more selfish, becoming more focused on my own gains above all. My thought process seems to be hardening, becoming somewhat more ruthless, well, when necessary of course.

I have been thinking and wondering why and I can't seem to find an answer except the people that I am associating with. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing of course :)

On a lighter note, work is really so crap. Two jobs plus uni is really becoming a burden on me. Not that it's a bad thing, more money for me and I get to meet more lovely Asian ladies.

It seems I have absolutely nothing more interesting to say. Yeah, it seems my capacity to think is becoming increasingly limited. But it also seems in recent times my capacity to bullshit random stuff under pressure is becoming quite good. I think that'll be a good tool to use in my future endeavors whatever they may be.

Oh yeah, I had a wonderful evening with a most lovely lady. I thank you for the pleasure princess ^_^

Until next time, have a good night (or day) ladies and gents. Enjoy life!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Disillusionment

So I sit here, 2 AM in the morning thinking.

Finally, I found some time to read the wonderful blogs of my blogging associates. As I read each one carefully, I realise just how diverse but similar we are in our thought patterns... Similarly, a pattern emerged for me...

My friend DP for example, blogged about his Resident Evil experiences. On another hand, Amel blogged about some of the wonderful things that recently happened in her life. Zhu decided to focus on her past travel experiences while Max likewise focused on her husband and her experience of being married. Jeff did his NEWSFLASH while to round things off, Michelle posted a beautiful video.

We are different in the areas we blog but what we ultimately do is that we blog our experiences. We write down our experiences for others to see, to comment and perhaps, to understand.

Me? I do the same. Well, most of the times. Today, I am going to blog about my disillusionment with the female species. The topic? Betrayal of trust. It seems everything I see these days have a degree of betrayal in them. I recently watched the movie "Minority Report" where the guy stabs his wife or wanted to for sleeping with a stranger. That kind of capped off everything I have heard and in a weird way, experienced.

Help me here because I don't understand. Why do people betray the trust of others? If you can't be honest, then be fucking straight and make the point clear: "I can't be honest with you". It's not hard. You know what the conclusion I came down to? A fucking lack of moral ethics and a poor damned upbringing. It's true, not everyone is created equal but for christ sake, have a code of honor is not so hard to follow is it?

I recently read what Jeff wrote about disillusionment. You give someone your trust, you expect it to be betrayed. I came to summarize it as: Trust is there to be betrayed. You know, these days, I am turning into a major cynic or rather, pessimistic person. I can't help it, the human race and the experience of growing up and associating with people is making me turn into that. It's absolutely true what an old Chinese adage went: By nature, all men (and women) is good.

But we are corrupted by the people we associate with, the environment we live in and the things we see and hear. Under such adversity, we simply can't stand the tide but turn in the corrupt things we want to repel. Disillusionment with the female species is kind of turning me into someone who can't uphold what he swore to never do. Associating with people who reinforce that disillusionment doesn't help.

What is the solution? Find people who can help you turn that tide. But that is a little catch 22 isn't it? You would still trust people to help you but what if they betray you? Ahhhh...

What's the solution? We trust ourselves? We betray others before they can betray us? We hurt them first? We put up a shield that no one can get through fully? It's an endless circle of riddles...

The only answer I came to was trust the mind and it's values and beliefs over the heart under all situations. Analyse situations and factors in your position and the position of the other person. Make a judgment and follow that judgment. That way, any betrayal of trust will likely be anticipated and if not, have less impact on yourself.

But let me know YOUR solution. DO you have a solution that will resolve this kind of dilemma?

Until next time, I hope you are resting well and not thinking too much like me because frankly, I am tired. Enjoy life...