Saturday, May 3, 2008

The End

So, I've decided to kill myself.

Actually no. It's something that has not crossed my mind and I'm hoping it'll remain that way. This joke may sounds bad but I can be an ass sometimes and frankly, I care little and little about many things these days.

My life is reaching a crucial stage over the next few months. Soon, I'll be graduating and many things are going to happen at a fast pace. The first is deciding on just what to do. Is it time to look for a job or continue studying? With a job, I am able to take out a mortgage (this is a must before moving out) and move on with life. Though it makes you wonder what's the point when it all ends? I guess the process is much more important than the end right?

Anyway, going off track a bit there... I think it'll be better to find a job and take out a mortgage. This way I can move out and proceed faster towards my life goals whatever they are... Now this is a damned depressing thought... Looking for a proper job... On one hand, I'll be leaving my dreaded workplace but on the other, the depressing thought of being rejected until I find the desired job (if there is one) doesn't make things much more brighter.

Nonetheless, move forward I must. I think once I find a graduate position, I'll see if I can attempt honours part time because it's something that can make me special lol... Another thought... Writing this post makes me feel my options are everywhere. I need to do a mindmap soon...

Anyway, yeah... that's a bit of random rant about my soon to explode life... Definitely a typical life for an average kid. Not as exciting as dealing drugs or being a child soldier...

I'm hoping I'll have something more exciting to rant about next time... Until then, adios my friends. Wish me luck.

P.S. Please don't surprise me. I'm a mundane individual, I long for stability. I don't like betting until I know I have a good chance of succeeding. If I fail, I tend to back away, learn from my mistakes and try again. But when I try again, I hope the situation will have changed enough to give me a better chance of succeeding. Of course, that's very much unlikely so all in all, surprises sucks. I don't change much...

5 comments:

Zhu said...

Killing yourself is definitely NOT an option. How about taking some time to figure everything out and go traveling meanwhile?

That's what I did anyway... ;)

Michelle said...

Killing yourself sounds boring - living is way more scary! ;-)

Seriously... you sound a bit burnt out. Maybe you should take a break - mentally if not literally/physically. Let go a bit. LIghten up a bit.

I also don't believe you care little. I think you care too much.

If you feel in the mood I have a challenge on caring for this weekend. Feel free to ignore it... or join in.

http://crows-feet.blogspot.com/2008/05/standing-women-website-pledge.html

PS... I'm non gender biased so I see no reason why there can't be Standing Men. ;-)

Shan said...

Zhu: lol...

Mich: The understanding of a woman ONLY. hahaha.

I agree with you. I am bit burnt..

Max said...

Hey Shan,

Relax, man! Enjoy each step at the time!
First, graduate. Second, think of a job (any job that you may like). Third, once you get enough money, think of a place and apply for a loan...and so forth so forth.

It is pointless to yield to depression before things happen, wouldn't you agree? Until then, have fun, laugh and live...

Or you may follow Zhu's advice (a very good one, I know cause I have done the same): take a year off after graduation and travel!

Cheers

x Celeste and Careme said...

You are a fabulous member of the blogosphere! x Celeste

http://www.celesteandcareme.blogspot.com